full circle

i have made a
D E C I S I O N.

a
D E C I S I O N(!)
has been made

a decision
to return to
...
what was once
commonplace.
sometimes that is
the M O S T
simple, free(ing?)
ah yes:
l i b e r a t i n g.

---------------

let me try
red, pink, & white
i can feel [him]

it stares back
[at me]
waiting/watching

come
catch me
when I

f
a
l
l
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

on a path to fulfillment

giving things up is always hard to do -- but especially hard when you have compulsive/obsessive tendencies like me. what I'm realizing (more and more) however, is that the golden rule of "small but mighty" can be applied to more than just a games of chinese checkers. if you take it day by day, something that seemed impossible initially, will become inevitable with each passing day of success!

in the same vain as 'practice makes perfect' i think i am really starting to appreciate the rewards of self-discipline, focus, will and drive (something that I struggled with throughout college, i think). and this is not only in light of my recent lifestyle changes, but a general philosophy/principle that i want to start applying to all aspects of my day to day living.

in general, things seem to be going in my favor as of late and i want to keep it that way. in my eyes, the only way to maintain my current level of 'success' is to stay focused, be determined to continue on this path, and ultimately remain humble with each advancing step i make. other than that, it is out of my hands... i just need to stayed focused, and go along for the ride of a lifetime. be it up or down.

IN OTHER NEWS
alice comes to new york on monday! i'm really excited to host her for a month in new york (we finally finished renovating the equip. room and it's awesome, fo sheezy!) .... funny that i've been to switzerland so many times within the past ten years, and she hasn't been back to the states since that fateful night we hitch-hiked out of sea ranch, california (at age 15 and 13, respectively) on a mission to get some chocolate. those were the good old days, all right. carefree summer days, youthful optimism, and california sunshine -- who could ask for more?

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so here's to a new year and a new way of life -- still the same life, but with a different fire set underneath it. to meeting new people, attaining new prospects, and success with all that we so desire.

re: kundera

i feel just as thankful (more, even) on new years, than I do on thanksgiving.

but it makes sense...

New Years is always a great 'holiday' because it is a chance for many people from different times to come together and celebrate the possibilities of the future.

--family of friends---



... the future seems weightless to me.

still not i

ENDGAME

it's ironic that i've become so into chess no more than a month after I successfully cracked Beckett's "Engame" and am concurrently having trouble with me actual endgame, while at the same time am physically in the endgame of the semester.

All that pawn and rooking.

Anyone have any tips on improving your endgame (literal and metaphorical)

tea for two, and two for you... tea for me?

It's almost through... ---

A year and a half of grad school has zipped past, and I find myself feeling more and more like a real director. The confidence, the insight, the visions of what could be. I am beginning to realize the real importance of research and how that impacts the work you do as a director. To direct is to be a student of life, and I think I've made the right choice because I'e always known that I was a life-long student. I may not end up being IN school for life, but I will never stop absorbing, will never stop learning. Because what is life without knowledge and understanding?

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My little personal/emotional crisis that I was dealing with about a month ago has passed. I am comfortable in my own shoes once more - thank god! School is good - great, even: Im doing good work, and I feel myself growing artistically. Ideas are brewing and I am comfortable in New York City again. Alice told me that it is normal to have a crisis about halfway through your studies... I wonder why that is? I can't remember if I had one at Gettysburg, I don't think so -- maybe it took it's form in my switch to the Philosophy department, and then to theater?

All in all though, school is good. It's tough, but it is so rewarding and the more I do, the more I begin to realize that I really think i've found my calling. Things that used to be a struggle now seem to come a lot easier, and the more I practice the better I become. Many believe that artists are lazy pot smokers who just sit around and "create" but to be a truly great artist you need discipline, and dedication... but that is if you are really after creating art (and I mean all kinds of art - video, photography, painting, theater, music, writing, whatever) I'm not out to become the next hollywood star. What I really want is to be satisfied and happy. Satisfied with my work, my life, my location, and my comfort level. But things are going well and I can't complain.

I got hired to direct a one act play at the Philipstown Depot Theater in Garrison, NY. It's a mere 30 minutes away from NYC, but the minute I step off that Metro North train platform I am immediately transported to another world. I love the feeling of being back in nature! At the base of Bear Mountain, and on the edge of the Hudson river I feel a release in the breath of fresh air. Listening to the quietness of nature, and the humming ofthe birds in the trees makes me happy. There is something refreshing about being surrounded by our good old earth. I think if I weren't an artist, I would be a tree hugger. Or maybe an appalachian nomad.

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It was around the beginning of October that I began to feel stifled by the concrete jungle of New York. It seemed claustraphobic and heartless - but I've found it's soul once more. It might be that friends from the past have entered back into my life and I have begun to remember what MY new york is all about. Sometimes I get caught up with all these new york city transplants and I loose sight of the greatness of this city. There is so much that it has to offer, and I want to eat it up. Culture and books and museums and art. Where else can you get all of that in one place?

A new prospect is on the horizon that I won't mention just yet because it's bad karma, but it could be BIG people! Cross your fingers for Sarah Bellin - 2009 might have something very exciting in store.

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Winter keeps creeping in and then running away. I want the snow to come, so I can go skiing! Cross Country at the Pallisades, or Mount Tom in MA, or even better: cousin jimmy's place in VT! Let's pray for a cold winter.

Keepin' it real and feeling loud and proud
-s

the pombom is here

A new prospect for all gaget freaks - a phone that projects powerpoints of "72 on a wall, serves as a razer, a harmonica, and also brews coffee? Rumor has it that it's all a hoax, but the idea is clever and we can all dream, can't we? Since the idea has been put out there, I'm sure somone will figure out a way to engineer it.

Fact, fiction, or future?:::



... if so, say sianara iphone