Learning to be P R I V A T E

Sitting slumped in my chair
head down
eyes closed
trying to be private

had an audition today
a B I G audition:
ensemble violinist/understudy
for this summer’s Hamlet
P R O D U C T I O N
(S E D U C T I O N)
at Shakespeare in the park.

I mean, wow!

But, to be private, or not
is R E A L L Y the question.
I think I did a good job
in the violin section
of the audition.
The composer seemed
impressed, interested

My monologue, however
Left something…

From Troilus and Cressida:
“Boldness comes to me right now, and brings me heart.
Prince Troilus, I have loved you night and day
For many weary months.
Hard to seem won; but I was won, my lord,
With the first glance that ever – pardon me –
If I confess much, you will play the tyrant.
I love you now; but not, till now, so much
But I might master it. In faith, I lie;
My thoughts were like unbridled children, grown
Too headstrong for their mother. See, we fools!
Why have I blabb’d? who shall be true to us,
When we are so unsecret to ourselves?
But, though I loved you well I woo’d you not;
And yet, good faith, I wish’d myself a man,
Or that we women had men’s privilege
Of speaking first. Sweet, bid me hold my tongue,
For in this rapture I shall surely speak
The thing I shall repent. See, see, your silence,
Cunning in dumbness, from my weakness draws
My very soul of counsel! Stop my mouth.
My lord, I do beseech you, pardon me;
‘Twas not my purpose, thus to beg a kiss.”

… to be desired.

But who knows what
they are lookin’ fo
plus, the competition seemed
F I E R C E
fuckin’ new york city

green green light
red light
green green light
red light

---------------------------------------------

an analysis?
I think I tried my best
nerves? No.
P R I V A C Y
I was too conscious
of my judges
not comfortable
enough with text.
we’ll see
but i
ain’t
holdin my breath.